Alternative Medicine

It has come to my attention that there was an election in the U.S recently. Indeed, it was hardly possible to remain oblivious (as I tried) of the aggressive publicity and widespread hysterical gibberish that has been issuing from across the Atlantic for the past several weeks. 

Such was the level of coverage, much of which apparently nonsensical ramblings in an attempt to fill air time, that it was far from clear who would win. Or even who was more likely to win. Obama was most likely quaking in his presidential boots as he felt the breath of a homophobic bigot down his neck. 

So I am sure that it would have been of great comfort to him that one man, a witch doctor from Kenya by the name of John Dimo, had already called the result of the election some days before it actually took place.

The man, who lives in the village where Obama's father is buried and claims to be 105, used a number of stones and artefacts to predict a landslide victory for the incumbent politician. 

So don't worry, Mr Obama, there was no need at all for concern. They can even cure baldness, too.