Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson is the single greatest thing to happen to politics in the last decade. Probably longer.

Now, so I don't appear guilty of absurd hyperbole, I should explain. Apart from a small, keen minority, the youth of today is hopelessly disillusioned with todays politics. Manipulative, sly politicians and their empty, petty promises have taken their toll on the interest of many. 

But Boris Johnson, with his infinite supply of absurd metaphors and bumbling patriotism is single-handedly hacking away at a plague of disinterest.

Here are some of his more notable moments.

"It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall."

- On Tony Blair

"My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."

"I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects."
"Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."

"I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar."